19th Jan 2012

I haven't heard back about the interview yet but I'm pretty sure I didn't get it. I basically dried up for a few of the questions and couldn't think of anything. There was two interviewers which threw me a bit, and towards the end they basically told me I was too quiet for the position. They said they were looking for someone outgoing and confident and I seemed like a quiet person and how would I cope with the job? I can't even remember what I said to that ... I think I just mumbled something about being willing to give it a go. Ah well, it probably wasn't the right job for me anyway.

The presentation went okay. I didn't really look up at the audience but I managed to keep my voice fairly slow and steady instead of rushing through it like I'm apt to. To be honest I didn't feel particularly proud of myself at the time, I just simply felt relieved it was over but now I've had time to think back I'm very proud of myself. I've joined a public speaking group which has just started in London specifically for people with SA which I'm going to go along to in a few days.

I also went along to a new SA support group on Tuesday. I met up with a girl I know from one of the others and we went along together. There was around 15 people there which is a lot bigger than anything I've been to before. I was completely and utterly terrified on the tube there; my heart was thumping so loudly and my limbs felt weak and jelly-like. I freaked out as well when we were going around the circle saying our names, as that's one of my biggest fears thanks to my damn stammer, but it went without any hiccups. All in all it was a good experience and I'm very glad I went, seeing as I have been wanting to for a few months now! I don't know how often I'll be able to make it because it's ridiculously expensive to get into London now, thanks to the increase in rail fares earlier this year.

It's my birthday next Friday and I've started to worry about it now. I don't know what I'm going to do. It's my sister's boyfriends birthday a few days before mine and he's having his party on my birthday so my sister is going to be going to that. I have been invited but it might be a bit odd watching everyone celebrate someone else's birthday when it's actually mine :/ I'll have to think about it