Challenges

I've been back with the nice host for 2 weeks now.  It's been a very different experience to the first time I was here.  There is only one other wwoofer here; he is a 48 year old man from Spain whose English is limited to just a few words.  Two of the rooms in the house are being rented out at the moment, but the people in them are in their 40s and 50s.  So I am surrounded by people twice (and in some cases 3 times) my age.  In some ways it's a good thing, as I mentioned in my previous post that I have most of my anxiety around older people, so it's good practice for me.  But it's also been a little lonely, seeing as I don't really have anyone to go out to the pub or the beach with after work.  On the plus side I've been getting lot of reading done; I've already finished 3 books since I've been here!

The last 2 days have been a challenge for me anxiety wise - my host J. has gone away for the weekend and there have been people arriving to stay in the treehouse and gypsy wagon he has on his land.  So I've had to greet them and show them in.  I had always avoided doing it the last time I was here, but this time I didn't really have a choice.  I was pretty scared beforehand; my mind kept playing over possible scenarios from getting asked a bunch of questions I didn't know the answers to, to not being able to unlock the door and looking like a fool.  But I retreated to my room and did some analysis of these negative thoughts which brought my anxiety down to a slight nervousness and changed my perspective of the situation.  I started to see it as a chance to practice overcoming my fears rather than a torturous event to be endured.  And it all went okay in the end; I'm sure I came across slightly awkward but nowhere near as bad as I was imagining I'd be.  I suppose as well, the more I do it, the easier it will get.