I've been finding it hard to find the motivation to blog recently. Mainly because I feel like I have nothing to say as I haven’t really been doing much and if I do have something to say then I think no-one is going to be interested anyway. But I’m going to try and post more regularly from now on.
I moved out of my uni house 4 days ago and am now back with my parents for the foreseeable future. I’m not terribly happy about it but I don’t have any other option at the moment. I had a pretty good time in the two weeks after results. Me and my housemates went camping in the Peak District for 2 nights and it was the most fun I’ve had in ages J We went on long walks up the mountains during the days and spent the evenings in the village pub.
On a bit of a side note I probably should mention that I’ve started drinking again. Not loads mind you just a few glasses of wine or cocktails. After going over a year without drinking that’s all I can handle now anyway! I’ve gotten into such a rut this last year and I think the tee-totalism has something to do with it. Because I had demonised alcohol to such an extent that I wouldn’t allow myself even one sip of a drink, I was much more likely to turn down offers to go out because I knew I’d just spend the entire night a nervous wreck. If I tell myself that it’s okay to have a drink if I feel I need it I’m way more likely to go out and do things (even if I don’t end up drinking in the end).
On to bigger news -I might be starting group therapy in September. I’ve got an introductory appointment with the therapist on the 11th to see if I’m suitable for the group. I’ve been going back and forth considering group therapy for a while now; the stubborn and proud side of me feels like I’m giving up by choosing therapy (totally messed up thinking I know) and wants to get over this by myself, but the more rational side of me knows that I’m much more likely to overcome SA with outside help and that I might as well give it a go now while my parents are still willing to pay for it. Anyway we’ll see how the appointment on the 11th goes.
I’ve also lined up a bit of volunteering as my CV is in serious need of padding out. Apart from my mediocre academic achievements and a few bits I did while in school I have a rather miserable looking CV. I’ve arranged to go to a charity shop (ironically for a mental health charity) tomorrow for a chat and to be shown around so hopefully I’m going to start volunteering there soon. I’m pretty nervous about tomorrow, although I’ve been doing okay at keeping the negative thoughts at bay today. One thing that I’ve been doing recently is writing down my negative thoughts and then taking a step back and asking myself if they’re realistic/justified and then writing down alternative thoughts. It really helps to gain some perspective.
Okay I'd better get some sleep now. I'll post again tomorrow after I'm back from the charity shop.
But you still did not get anything new after shifting..
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Hi Melanie, my first comment here, but I've read for a while. Hope the group therapy helps for you. I'm still too much of a chicken to get into group, but 1 on 1 therapy is still providing some good support. Whatever works for you.
ReplyDeleteHow did the visit to the charity shop go? Update please :)
Best wishes, BB.
thanks for the comment :) the charity shop was OK. there were a few embarrassing moments but overall it wasn't completely horrible. I'm going again this afternoon as well. I'll write a post about it later today.
ReplyDeleteSounds like you're doing great lately. You're lucky you have the option to do group therapy. I've often thought how incredibly helpful that would be for social anxiety. Did you ever do group before? Did it help?
ReplyDeleteHey Jill, thanks for commenting. Nope this will be my first time in a group. I'm strangely looking forward to it, I almost wish it started sooner so I didn't have to wait until September.
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