4 days ...

... til my presentation. I've only just started working on it. My family came up this weekend to see me as it was my birthday last week, so I've been busy all weekend. I'm annoyed at myself that I've left it so late to work on it but I can't do anything about that now.

My mood has been so up and down this weekend, it's unbelievable. My family came up Friday and we all went out to dinner, and I stayed with them in a posh hotel in town. I love staying in hotels - they feel totally separate from the real world, and you can just forget about all your worries and fears. Yesterday we did a bit of shopping and say The King's Speech at the cinema. And last night we went out to dinner again and I was having a really good time until we went back to the bar at the hotel, and it hit me that it was only a few days until I would have to stand up in front of a group of people and speak for 10 minutes straight. I couldn't hold back the tears anymore and just broke down in front of my family. It was only a matter of time until my worries all came pouring out to be honest, the way I keep everything bottled up inside me. I havn't even told my housemates I've got this presentation - I just don't want the attention and reassurances.

My sister stayed at my house last night, and my parents came to pick her up this afternoon. I broke down again, when my mum mentioned the presentation. So we went up to my room and we had a talk about it and I felt a bit better afterwards. Then they left and I took two valerian root capsules (meant to be good for anxiety) and did a few hours work.

I'll be so happy when this week is over. This presentation has been at the back of my mind ever since we were told we had to do it towards the end of my second year - so at least six months!