Group Therapy # 5 (can't believe it's been that many already!)

Last night's group therapy was the best one yet. We did a lot more behavioral stuff and activities than in the first few. I managed, for the first time, to share something good about my week with the rest of the group. We were all going round the group and everybody was saying something so I couldn't have gotten out of it even if I had wanted to but I had planned something to say beforehand anyway and was planning on saying it. It felt good to finally feel like I could talk in front of everyone. I think I'm finally starting to feel comfortable.

Just as the session was about to end, P took out an old VHS and announced to the group that I didn't know it but it was my birthday today (It wasn't my birthday just to make that clear!), handed me the VHS as a present, and made everyone sing happy birthday and then I had to make a quick "speech" afterwards. It was so awkward :/ I hate hate hate birthdays and feeling like the centre of attention so that was pretty much my worst nightmare, but I think I managed it OK. I uttered a few words about how unexpected it was and thankyou to everyone blah blah blah. I feel like I rushed through the speech a bit and afterwards I kept thinking of things I could have said that would have been witty and made everyone laugh, but I did the best I could at the time. Now I think about it, everyone else probably felt just as awkward as I did, being made to stand and sing like that in front of relative strangers. I reckon he's going to do something unexpected like that every week now to get us used to being put on the spot.

One of the girls at the group is hosting a halloween party this weekend just for people with SA and she invited us all along. I think I'm going to go. My sister is actually coming back from uni this weekend to visit and I was kind of supposed to be spending the evening with her, but I think this is more important! I'm sure she'll understand - the only reason she comes back is to see her boyfriend anyway!