I didn't make it to the interview :( I woke up on the day feeling sick and more anxious than I've been in months. I had to pretend to be sick. To be honest I don't think there was much chance of me ever going through with it. I've never been to a interview before (apart from when I was applying to uni) and this was like throwing myself in the deep end. Anyway so I've decided I'm not going to apply for graduate level jobs anymore - I'm just going to focus on getting a waitressing job or something and building my confidence. I managed to ring a few restaurants yesterday afternoon to see whether they had any vacancies and a few of them said yes so I was planning on going down town today to hand in CVs. Except that I've literally spent the last two hours frantically searching through my wardrobe trying desperately to find something to wear. Everything I've tried on looks completely hideous. It's all either shrunk in the wash or too baggy or too tight or makes me look like a twelve year old playing dress up.
I'm supposed to be going to the support group today and I really don't feel like going now. Except that I know that it's days like these when it would be most helpful to go. So I'm going to try and force myself.
I'm meeting up with a friend I havn't seen for 2 years tomorrow. She used to be my best friend in Senior School but left for boarding school when we were 14. We were pretty mischievous back then and liked to think of ourselves as the Fred and George Weasley of our school! We used to email each other pretty much every day and she would stay round our house a lot of weekends, and I would go and stay with her family in Devon in the summer but since we've been at uni we've kind of lost contact. I'm worried that we won't have anything to say to each other and we'll have lost that connection that we used to have. And of course I'm worried I won't have anything to wear......
So all in all a pretty rubbish day :(
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